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Today the words ‘self care’ are being used to sell moisturiser, shampoos and various other products and services. These products can be aspect of looking after your self physically, but the real core of self care is about looking after yourself by prioritising your mental, physical and emotional wellness. And some people might include your spiritual self in that too. Self Care is about keeping yourself healthy safe and well.

Examples of physical self care might be:

• Eating heathly
• Taking regular exercise
• Getting enough sleep
• Knowing where your energy levels are
• Prioritising time to rest and relax.

Are you aware of at this moment of how you are feeling physically?

Take a moment to tune in to your body and see. Perhaps you are a little tired, a little thirsty, maybe something somewhere is aching. Physical self-care could be as simple as getting up from your desk and getting that glass of water, or it could be as important as making that appointment with the doctor about that issue that’s worrying you, getting that sports injury fixed, or getting a regular good nights sleep.

Examples of mental health self care are:

• Calming your mind: this might be meditation
• Getting outside into nature (we are hard wired to be more relaxed in nature).
• Doing something enjoyable, but challenging such as playing chess or dancing. Or a creative activity like painting, drawing, knitting etc. So that you are focused on the here and now rather than the to do list or working.
• Practicing Emotional Freedom technique (EFT)/tapping. Which can be used to calm and de-stress the mind.
• Seeking professional help such as counselling if things get overwhelming, you feel stressed, stuck, depressed or anxious.

Take a second moment to tune in to your thoughts. How are you feeling mentally at this moment?

Are you juggling too may thoughts about things you must get done. Are you over thinking or stressing about a work meeting or deadline. Or maybe you are feeling calm and relaxed. Where would you say your stress levels are on a 1 – 10 scale at this moment?

Are you in fact able to think or are you so stressed and overwhelmed that your thinking has gone off line, that you find yourself, unable to concentrate or follow a train of thought? This can happen when we become overwhelmed and our inbuilt ancient protection mechanism, the fight or flight response perceives a threat.

If that is the case, what is the best thing you can do to help yourself now and bring yourself into a calmer more relaxed state, which helps to switch off the fight or flight mechanism?

Examples of emotional selfcare are:

• Maintaining healthy social and family relationships. Time spent with our friends and family is often the first thing to disapear when we have too much on our plates.
• Listening to your inner self through, breathing, meditation, or sitting, relaxing and practising self reflection. It’s important to know how your feeling as this can clue you in on whether you are pushing yourself too hard or whether you are not taking care of yourself.

Where are you emotionally now?

What are you feeling at this moment, calm, relaxed, anxious or angry?

We all have emotions and they can be fleeting  or constant, but they provide us with valuable information about what is happening for us now. Sometimes we are so busy ploughing on with what we have to get done, that we don’t recognise our feelings. What are your feelings telling you, are they telling you you’re OK, that a boundary has been crossed, that you miss somebody or that there is something or someone that’s not good for you?

Or maybe they’re telling you that you need to care for yourself a little better.

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Sometimes we might worry that we are being selfish by practicing self care, because it can mean saying no to others. “No I’m not going out tonight”. “No I don’t have time to pick up your shopping today”. “No, I’m not taking work home”. Saying no, or putting in a boundary in place may feel selfish if you are unused to prioritising your own needs. If others are telling you you’re selfish because you are not meeting their needs, then they are prioritising their needs over yours. But lets be clear about this, you are the one in charge of your life and no one is going to look after you the way you can.

 “Our lives are so busy, and for many of us the demands are overwhelming. Some of us focus so much on the needs of others, we lose sight of ourselves. Stop, for one moment. Take a deep breath. Be still. Refocus. Concentrate on improving your life. One situation at a time. You can’t be much good to others if you’re no good to yourself. If they love you, they’ll understand.” — Carlos Wallace

Here are a couple more quotes that might help the idea of Self Care to stick with you:

• “Self-care is your fuel … Whatever the road ahead or the path you’ve taken, self-care is what keeps your motor running and your wheels turning.” — Melissa Steginus
• “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” — Anne Lamott